


Lucid Transparency

by Paragraphss



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drabbles, Fluff, I'll add more tags as i go, I’m sorry, Like 100 Words A Chapter, M/M, angsty, at times - Freeform, kind of smutty, mostly smutty, very short
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-01-17 17:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 21
Words: 3,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12370125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paragraphss/pseuds/Paragraphss
Summary: Short Lawlight Drabbles





	1. Confusion

Why did he continue to do this? It’s all over, right? L is so, so close to catching him, it’s nerve-wracking... yet here he is, furiously scribbling names down on the pages, to cover his tracks and keep Kira’s name alive— but at what cost? He’s surely going face the death penalty when he’s caught, there’s no way he can wriggle out of this. So why? Why does he write down every name but L’s? Why is it, that whenever the thought of L dying crosses his mind, he feels sick to the stomach— he feels like a monster? 

Is it admiration? Friendship? 

Is it love?

Light didn’t know, so he carried on writing names, and people kept dying, and L kept growing ever closer to the truth— because L is the worlds greatest detective (and Light’s only friend) and you can’t hide the truth from both of them.


	2. Closer

L was getting closer, but not to finding Kira— no, he was growing closer to the mystery that was Light Yagami. They spent their nights holed up in his bedroom, eyes glued to the glowing moniter; they’d emerge the next morning with eyes redder than blood, dark bags swooping under them. But they didn’t care. They were having... fun? Something like that.

L hoped that Light wasn’t Kira. Light was his first (and only) friend, and he didn’t want to give that up just yet. But what if Light was Kira? Would he have the heart to send out the execution order? Could he pick up the phone and tell the world that Light Yagami— High School prodigy and his best friend— was Kira, the killer who took the scales of liberty into his own bare hands?

For his own sake, he hoped so.


	3. Hole

L was managing to fill the hole in Light’s chest, and God was Light scared. His heart had been ripped out when Ryuk visited him in his bedroom all that time ago, where he handed him the bloody pen and let him cause havoc with each stroke. His blood had been turned black in his veins and his bones had been replaced with polished steel, until he wasn’t a human— a skeleton anymore, but a God wrapped in a shell, hidden to the eyes of those who passed him on the street. 

But his suit had a hole, and L was working his way inside, peeling back the endless layers, exposing the metallic skeleton and poison and the pure, ebony evil that encased him.

Light had been turned black by a God and a notebook of Death, and L was desperately ripping away the masks that he wore, and Light feared he wouldn’t have long before he was placed on show.


	4. Fierce

Since when did Light begin to feel something so fierce? Since when did he long, ache, simply desire to protect L from everything? When did he begin to get headaches when people spoke badly about the Detective? Was it after those sleepless nights, where they just sat, and did nothing but glance at each other every minute, eclosed in a comfortable bubble of silence. 

That silence said every word that they couldn’t (I don’t hate you- please don’t be Kira- You’re my only friend- Why do I care about you so much?), and maybe that’s why Light feel something strong. It was something (less than) love, and something a little bit more than just friendship. But Light couldn’t place his finger on it, so he didn’t, and instead just basked in the glory of L for a while. Alas, it would all come crumbling down in a few weeks, and L would go up in a blaze of fire. 

But a few weeks was a while away, so Light didn’t have to worry just yet.


	5. Sure

Light is now ninety-nine percent sure he knows why he feels so strongly about L. Misa Amane, his fake girlfriend and partner in (literal) crime, had reluctantly helped him open his eyes and see why he wanted L to stay alive so much— it was affection. God, the word felt stupid in his head. Who showed affection to a depressed detective? Who would let a killer give them affection? It wasn’t- it wasn’t normal. But then again, Light has a murder book and a giant God following him, so maybe it isn’t that unnatural. 

He didn’t know if L felt the same affection inside him— he hoped he did, it would he nice if he did, but he doubted it. Why would L love his suspect? Unless those nights stirred something inside him too. Light doubted that as well, but, a man could dream. 

(But that wasn’t the only thing Light dreamt about. He also dreamt about shades of red and feather quills and black leather in the hands of ebony claws, each one dipped in black poison and sharpened into knives.)


	6. Secrets

L definitely felt the same— God, did he feel the same. Misa hasn’t meant to say anything, but Light’s love secret just slipped out of her cherry red lips and spilled all over the table, and L was quick to pick up the pieces and put them together, and goddamn was he happy. He never thought it’d be possible before; how could he love a suspected Kira? But Light was intoxicating, suffocating, and L loved every piece of it. 

Well, love was too strong a word for it. It was close to love, yes. There is the possibility for love, but at the moment, it’s more of an... obsession, an ache, a need to be close to the boy and just.., get to know him, wholly. 

L wanted to love Light, and he was pretty damn sure that Light wanted the same, so all he had to really do was wait (and pray that Light wasn’t the murderer he thought he was.)


	7. No Love

Light didn’t love L yet, and L didn’t either— so why are they flat against L’s bed, teeth clashing, lips pressed together, hands wandering desperately over each other’s skin? Why was Light tugging at L’s shirt, and why was L letting him pull it over his head? Why were L’s fingers tangled in his hair, as they kiss frantically, like if they’d stop, they wouldn’t be able to breath anymore? Why was L naked now, and why was Light naked too, and why were they both sweating and sore and scratched? Why was L moaning underneath his tan body?

Why did Light enjoy it so much? He was sure, absolutely positive he doesn’t love L just yet, but here he was, kissing down L’s neck like it’s a full course meal, as L moans, fucking _moans_ , chanting his name like it’s a religion. 

L and Light knew there was no love, but it felt so _good,_ so maybe that’s why they didn’t stop.


	8. Obsessed

Light was becoming obsessed with the curves of L’s body, and the way his skin shined when it was sweaty and the sound of his moans when Light kissed him and the way his back arched when Light’s fingers dipped beneath the waistband of his jeans. He was infatuated with the feel of his hair and the way his dark eyes watched him so desperately. He loved the was L gave himself completely to him. 

They were on the way to get ice cream, Light was driving, L was curled up in the passenger seat, and L couldn’t help himself, he jerked the wheel and sent them down a deserted woodland path, and then Lights jeans had been tugged down and L was kissing him fully, and Light had never felt more like a God in his entire life (not even when he wrote those damned names down on that deathly notebook).

Light loved how L managed to know everything that made him tick, and L loved that he could give everything to Light, and that’s what made them the perfect pair (of destruction).


	9. Weekly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im so sorry for the amount of smutty chapters in a row but damn I just love this pairing so much

It had been a week since L first kissed Light, and Light had lost count of the amount of times that L managed to make him feel so good— the detective swore it was his first time doing anything of the sort, but it felt unfair to believe that he was so damn amazing at it even though he’s never done it before. Maybe Light was a bad influence on him; maybe Light was rubbing off on him (Well, he was certainly rubbing him off, that’s for sure). L always seems to find him when he’s alone, and Light doesn’t mind that he always manages to get him into bed. His dad would kill him if he found out that Light was sleeping with L, but what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him all that much. 

“Light-kun.” L moaned breathlessly. God, did Light love that sound. It was harmonious, godly, it made Light feel like a king, and what a king he was.


	10. Cover

Light realised that his and L’s strange agreement has provided him with some sort of cover— L is so infatuated by him, that it would be painful to ever try and torture information out of him. He wouldn’t have the heart to accuse him of being Kira anymore (even though he stole Light’s heart out of Ryuk's grasp and held it in his hand, a heart he could use to replace his own). Every kiss they shared, every night they spent basking in the others touch, created a stronger alibi, a hardened shell around Light, and he hated (liked) it, he despised (worshipped) it, because he wasn’t raised to be insincere. He may be Kira, but he’d never lie to the man he liked (loved).

He kissed L like it was his last day living on Earth, hands slipping under his shirt, fingers fumbling with his belt, palms flat against his stomach. L would tug on his brunette locks and arch his neck and expose the sweet, pale skin on his jugular, and Light would leave it purple and red and covered in bites and marks of affection. All because he loved him, and because he needed that alibi, and because he wanted the world to know that he had tamed the Detective.

(L would leave his own marks too, red raw scratches on his tanned back.)


	11. Discussion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last one for now I promise

L never really bothered to discuss with Light what their relationship was. Were they friends (with benefits)? Best friends? Lovers? Dare he say it—  _boyfriends?_ Light was a mystery, all honeyed words and perfect alibi’s and intoxicating kisses, and L wished he could hate him, or at least dislike him a little, because it would make it easier to investigate him. Instead, L devotes his nights to coaxing Light into his bed and kissing him silly, instead of watching Misa Amane on the moniter while she’s strapped up and screaming. 

L didn’t bother to talk about his relationship with Light, so it never came up, and they both kept sleeping together, and the secret was kept quiet. 

(But not for long.)


	12. Separation

When Soichiro found out about L and Light, he was furious. He stormed into the hotel foyer, screaming and cussing, pointing a wrinkled finger at L and directing every insult, every word cut like a knife, straight towards his son. After he was finished, he broke down crying, and Light stood and watched as his father crumpled onto the floor with wet cheeks. L didn't really see what the fuss was all about- Light was old enough to make his own decisions, wasn't he? He didn't need Soichiro to guide him through every obstacle in life. If he wanted to sleep with (and love) another man, then so be it. Why was Soichiro so angry? Maybe it was because L was so much older than Light (Only seven years- and it wasn't illegal). But if that's what Light wanted, and if Light was happy, then surely Soichiro should be happy too? (Light's mother was fine with it- She even took the time to call Light and congratulate him on finding someone, so that made L feel a little less guilty).

Soichiro decided that he didn't want them in the same room alone together anymore. He had Matsuda follow Light everywhere, and even placed cameras in his bedroom. He tried to get Watari to keep an eye on L, but Watari loved L like a son, and if L was happy, then so was he. Soichiro tired to get microphones implanted in his room, but Watari went and disabled them all. He even tried to secure L some time alone with Light, away from the prying eyes of Matsuda, but was unsuccessful, and eventually he had to give up.

L and Light didn't give up hope, but it wouldn't be long before the wall Soichiro was attempting to build between them grew taller than the both of them.


	13. Sleepless

Light didn’t know how to cope with sleeping alone at night. He had slept by L’s side for so many nights now, it felt unnatural to sleep alone in his bed at home. There was a cloud of awkwardness hanging over his house now, with his mother supporting him, his father ignoring him, and Light being sad that he couldn’t be close to L anymore. His father wouldn’t tell him why he won’t let him see L, but he knew better than to question him. Instead, he was compliant and went to bed alone, sometimes crying, sometimes sleeping, and sometimes simply staring at the wall. 

He sometimes wondered if the separation affected L too— did he miss Light? Did he miss gripping him tight throughout the night and waking up to the feel of his soft lips on his pale forehead? Did he miss those sleepless nights where it was just them, the night, and no words but the silence? He hoped so,because otherwise he’s just lovesick for a man who doesn’t really care. 

(In reality, Light’s the one who doesn’t really care, but he doesn’t know that yet).


	14. Red

A lot of things, Light soon came to realise, in his life, are red. Red was starting to become a recurring theme— the blood in his veins, the slight shine in his eye. The colour of the apples that Ryuk stole from the baskets that got placed in his room. The colour of his eyes after a sleepless night. (The colour of L’s face when they were together).

Light was spiralling downwards. His skin was pallid and raw and ashy, his eyes sunken and dead, red scratches trailing up his arms. L looked no different, because he already looked just like Ligh, but there wasn’t any life in his eyes either (so maybe he did miss Light too).

But red was a hard colour to hide, Light was beginning to find, and L was still the genius he always was.


	15. Love

Matsuda has fallen asleep in the armchair, and that meant that (for the first time in weeks) L and Light were alone. The sky was dark; Watari said he’d notify them if Matsuda awoke. They stole away into the bedroom and let their bodies do the talking— let the kisses and the breathless moans fill the hollow spaces in their body. Light kissed desperately; L kissed feverishly; they both kissed like they’d never kiss again, because who knew when Matsuda would wake up?

L’s back hit the wall (they didn’t even make it to the bedroom- they got to the stairwell and gave up) and Light didn’t take the time to remove his shirt carefully. The material ripped and then it was gone, and he was back, lips nipping at L’s. It felt like heaven, to be back in each other’s arms. 

“I love you.” L whispered breathlessly, and Light didn’t falter, letting his kisses say the words he couldn’t.


	16. Missing

Light misses this— waking up with L’s thin arms wrapped around his stomach, their legs a tangled mess under the sheets. He misses the faint humm of the monitors in the background, the sound of L’s soft breaths in the crook of his neck. He misses the warmth L’s tiny frame gives off, the way that the Detective was so innocent, so pure, while his eyes were closed and he was sleeping. It was so different to the front he put on when he was with the rest of the team; that awkward, leader-like front that he used.

It felt like a blessing, a privilege, to see L so vulnerable. Like it was something only he could see. Maybe it was; he already knew that L hasn’t been in a relationship before. Maybe he was the first to strip L of his innocence (a dark part of him liked that).

Light missed the nights he spent with L, so he was planning on savouring every moment he had.


	17. Neon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pulling away from the ‘actual’ plot for a few chapters before shit goES DOWN BOI

L had suggested that he and Light take a break from the case for a while— with Matsuda’s permission, of course. The poor boy had been pressured by Light and Watari, and he finally cracked, saying that he’d give the two hours before he’d call Soichiro. The Detective was quick to change his clothes and take a hold of Light’s hand, dragging him straight through the doors. 

Now, they were both sat on the edge of a roof, watching the neon lights of Tokyo glisten. The shiny reflections dipped into the hollow of L’s face (— God, did Light love the view he had) and made his dark eyes burst. They only had half an hour left; and they had to include a ten minute walk. Light took a hold of L’s hand and pressed a soft kiss upon his knuckles, without saying a word, because there were no words that needed to be spoken.


	18. Tennis

Matsuda could see what the separation was doing to both L and Light, so he decided to come to an agreement with them; he’d allow them two hours a day alone, and he wouldn’t tell Soichiro. Both boys nearly cried with happiness. They’d missed the feel of the other so damn much. 

L suggested they play tennis; Light agreed, like he always did. L looked attractive, dressed in grey shorts and a white vest. It was very different to his usual attire, but Light wasn’t complaining. L released the ball and served; Light sent it straight back. When a sheen of sweat covered L’s forehead, they gave up. They left the score on a tie. A small crowd had gathered, and they waved them off wearily, hiding in the shade of a large oak. Light pressed a small kiss against L’s lips, and they detective responded enthusiastically. 

Light kissed him, but he was afraid, because he knew that the end was slowly drawing near. He didn’t know if he could face the truth.


	19. Ice cream

L seemed to have an obsession with ice cream- Well, he had an obsession with all sugary treats, but ice cream seemed to be a favourite of his. Every time they went out, they’d gravitate towards the ice cream parlour, where L seemed determined to eat every ice cream flavour on the menu. He was only three ice creams in so far (he ate two of them twice by accident). Light wasn’t a big fan of the cold treat, so he usually watched L with a fond smile. 

“Does Light-kun want some?” L asked. Light declined politely, taking a sip of his coffee. L plucked the strawberry off of the top of his ice cream, and placed it gently between Light’s lips. The younger boy shook his head with a grin and took a bite. The sweet taste of the fruit filled his mouth. L continued eating his food happily. 

As long as Light was happy, L was happy (or so he believed. Something in the back of L’s mind told him that Light-kun was stringing him along. Maybe he was).


	20. Night

Soichiro was going out of the country for a few days. Light's mother had granted him permission to stay at L's base of command for the duration of his fathers stay, and she had ushered him out of the house minutes after Soichiro's car disappeared around the corner. Light was quick to agree, hailing a cab. L was just as happy as he was, and even abandoned the computer screen to retreat to the bedroom with Light.

Light could feel the energy of the notebook buried in his bag from the bed, and the looming sense of dread wouldn't leave him alone as he closed his eyes to sleep. He didn't hear L wake up, either, and he didn't hear the rustle of fabric and a zipper in the dark, either.


	21. Boyfriend

It didn't take Light very long to realise that he and L had never really spoken about their relationship. They slept together, kissed each other, cuddled under the covers at night, but they'd never really added on a label. Light was usually aginst naming things, labelling them, but this was something he wanted. he wanted to know where their relationship stood. He wanted L to love him.

(Or maybe it was something different. Maybe Light just wanted someone to worship him; call him God and mean every letter.)

"What are we, L?" He had asked the night before Soichiro returned. L rustled under the covers an turned to face Light, slipping out of their embrace.

"We are whatever you want us to be." He replied. Light kissed him softly.

Light didn't say anything further, but L got the picture, and wound their hands together as they slept.


End file.
